i've missed a bunch of journals

Alright Mr. K, I'm aware I've missed like.. a bunch of journals, and I don't even think I could begin to catch up. However, I feel if I write something rather long reflecting upon some things it'll at least count for some partial credit. I’ll start with some of the things I do remember in class, considering I guess I take some crappy notes. I remember Solomon, King of Israel, biggest idiot ever. As King all Solomon had to do was basically not get greedy. Basic rules that I remember – don’t be rich, don’t have a lot of horses, and don’t have many wives. What does he do? He turns around and is one of the biggest pimps in history (haha) in sleeping with so many women (maybe even more than Charlie Sheen!); he becomes super greedy with gold and riches and needs to have this huge like castle thing to himself, and has like an entire army of horses. Wow. For a “wise” guy he’s an idiot.

I also remember talking about David, Solomon’s dad I believe. David eventually became king, and had a relationship with this guy Jonathon that Christians perceive as purely plutonic, but the way it’s discussed in the Bible I’d like to disagree. The entire thing is about how much they love each other! When they said not as a woman, or there was a verse saying that their love wasn’t like the love for a woman, you could easily perceive that as saying that they were gay and didn’t feel for women in such a way as they did towards each other. BAM.

We also learned about sheep and how we are kind of like sheep to God (the shepherd!). When we stray, God doesn’t just forget us. While we may wonder off like total idiots and manage to get totally lost throughout life, he will constantly go looking for us and pull us back in to fix us.

Sometimes, we get so lost where we believe that God is completely gone from our lives and we start doing these harmful things to ourselves to try and fill the void. But it’s not enough, it’ll never be enough. God is the only thing that can fill that loneliness, no matter where you look. Whether you try to fill the hole with relationships, drugs, violence, alcohol, none of them will help you.

I don’t know if you listen to Brand New (I’m going to enclose the lyrics and links to the songs themselves below), they have a few songs that relate to God and Jesus, one of which is called Jesus Christ and expresses how lonely someone feels and is trying to get answers from God and the other is called Limousine. Limousine talks about a 7 year old girl that died in a limo in 2005. My favorite lyrics from the song are,

“And in the choir, I saw a sad messiah
He was bored and tired of my laments
Said, 'I'd die for you one time, but never again'"

They are in reference to Jesus Christ dying for our sins, but that he won’t now. As though we’ve lost ourselves again and he won’t save us this time. These two songs express serious pain in a thought that we’ve lost God. I’ll enclose the lyrics and links here:

LIMOUSINE

http://www.playlist.com/results.php?site=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.fileden.com%2F&links=4869d36ab0d48ce349b735d39c37fb578f10098bc1e08656be77d527cfcfed74456c5a4dcaf5e3e8665c7b27ee952287feb10f1e5b50fe712201bb2e4914&originallink=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.fileden.com%2Ffiles%2F2007%2F7%2F27%2F1301606%2FLimousine.mp3&addedby=null

Kay, here's your ride.
Get your petals out and lay them in the aisle
Pretend your garden grows and that it's your day to wed.
We found your man he's drinking up, he's all-American.
And he'll drive.
He's voluntarily graced to end your life,
He'll tidy up,
It's sad to hope leave your shell to us,
You explode,
You firefly, a tiny boat with all,
Further on the world tilts back and poison pours.
And so, your satellite.
You're a tidal wave, you're a big surprise.
And I, one more night to be your mother.

This signal's interrupts,
Maybe it's frequency's not strong enough.
It remade my hands and smile,
We will miss you but in time you'll get set up,
We will rise!

You're so free, yeah you were right about me,
Can I get myself back from underneath this guilt that will crush me,
And in the choir i saw a sad messiah,
He was bored and tired of my laments,
'said I died for you one time but never again.
(never again)
Well I love you so much, but do me a favor baby don't reply.
Because I can dish it out, but I cant take it.
(never again)
One'll love you so much, but do me a favor baby don't reply.
Because I can dish it out, but I cant take it.
(never again)
Two'll love you so much, but do me a favor baby don't reply.
Because I can dish it out, but I cant take it.
(never again)
Three'll love you so much, but do me a favor baby don't reply.
Because I can dish it out, but I cant take it.
(never again)
Four'll love you so much, but do me a favor baby don't reply.
Because I can dish it out, but I cant take it.
(never again)
Five'll will love you so much, but do me a favor baby don't reply,
Because I can dish it out, but I cant take it.
(never again)
Six'll I love you so much, but do me a favor baby don't reply.
Because I can dish it out, but I cant take it.
(never again)
Seven loves you so much, but do me a favor baby don't reply.
Because I can dish it out, but I cant take it.
(never again)

I said loved you so much, but do me a favor baby don't reply.
Because I can dish it out, but I cant take it.

JESUS CHRIST

http://www.playlist.com/results.php?site=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.fightoffyourdemons.com%2F&links=4869d36ab0d48ce349b735d39a35fb578f10098bc1e08656be77d527cfcfed74456c5a4dcaf5e3e8665c7b27ee9522d9babb525c1846ad307251fa6c0b1eb0dc6f2a770f178d&originallink=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.fightoffyourdemons.com%2F&addedby=11

esus Christ, that's a pretty face
The kind you'd find on someone I could save
If they don't put me away
Well, it'll be a miracle

Do you believe you're missing out
That everything good is happening somewhere else?
But with nobody in your bed
The night's hard to get through

And I will die all alone
And when I arrive I won't know anyone

Well Jesus Christ, I'm alone again
So what did you do those three days you were dead?
Cause this problem's gonna last more than the weekend.

Well Jesus Christ, I'm not scared to die,
I'm a little bit scared of what comes after
Do I get the gold chariot?
Do I float through the ceiling?

Do I divide and fall apart?
Cause my pride is too sly to hold back all my dark
And the ship went down in sight of land
And at the gates does Thomas ask to see my hands

I know you'll come in the night like a thief
But I've had some time alone to hold my lies inside me
I know you think that I'm someone you can trust
But I'm scared I'll get scared and I swear I'll try to nail you back up

So do you think that we could work out a sign
So I'll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try

I know you'll come for the people like me
But we all got wood and nails
Tongue tied to a hating factory

But we all got wood and nails
Your tortured (and hanging) factory
Yeah, we all got wood and nails
Your tortured (and hanging) factory
Yeah, we all got wood and nails
And we sleep inside of this machine

Without God, we’re nothing. I’ve learned that fairly recently. My emptiness isn’t going to be filled with a person or by some bad decisions, but it’ll be filled by God. See I’m thinking that our world today is going literally to hell. There are people in 6^th grade now that are trying weed, 6^th freakin grade. How ridiculous is that? Religion is becoming less and less important to people, becoming second even to sports. The way our world is going, we won’t be something God will be proud of and he may even turn his back on us. There are people in this world that honestly believe there is no God, but do you think they’re honestly happy? I believe that there is a hole in their hearts. I was just like them. I think that maybe if we all stopped and thought for even just a few moments about HOW some of the things in our lives happen, we’d realize that these things don’t just happen, and we are in no way in charge of what happens. I mean to an extent God will give us chances and we have to take them, but it’s up to Him to give them.

PSALM 4579783248578093795676

1 God, shine down upon us with your love,
Show us your mercy and peaceful dove.

2 My heart sings with joy for blessings around,
The musical notes are a wondrous sound.

3 You showed your favor unto sinful me
And evil vanished, sent to flee

4 Thanks are given for my times of trouble
For my blessings given were doubled.

5 Lessons are learned and grace received
When asked in my house of need.

6 How great and Almighty you truly are!
Our Spirit so close and times seem so far.

7 For I am just one of many in creation
Your glorious world, and under 1 nation

8 You heard my cries and directed my pain to take
For Christ our Savior I will not forsake

9 Tears are pouring in desparate cry
You reign in my soun and whisper - continue to try

10 To never give up or show lack of trust,
To keep Christ our Light is simply a must!

SKI TRIP!

The school ski trip was AWESOME!

First, I got to school and was really upset that I wouldn't be able to sit with Elizabeth or any of my really good friends, but then I asked Sister Dawn and she said that some of the sophomores would be on my bus anyway :) so Liz and I sat there texting Janna and Eden on the other bus, which was fun. We kept sending each other pictures... but that's irrelevant. We got to Blue Mountain and tackled our little freshman groupies and then proceeded inside because God only knows what happens when you disobey Ms. Kurniadi. Elizabeth, Nicole, Allie and I went to tube in a "family tube" which basically fit 5 persons and got some serious bonding time in. We then raced Lauren, Eric, Sheila, and Olive then Crystal and Chelsea. Crystal and Chelsea were hilarious though, they tried racing us to the line and I JUMPED inside their tube so it was harder for them to pull and Allie dove to grab onto one of the strings to hold it there while Nicole and Liz ran to find a new tube and raced around them. We went back inside around 11:45ish because we were pretty freezing and Liz and I sat in the cafeteria. Funny story- a boy walked into a garbage can staring at me (according to Liz). So after eating a bunch of carbs and drinking a red bull, I wanted more so I went to get nachos and when I came back Crystal came in saying, "Janna is looking for you.. your friend Eden got hurt." So Liz and I charged out of there (sadly, leaving my nachos behind) to find Janna. She showed us to the hospital area thing and Eden just laughed at us. Apparently she didn't take the snowboarding LESSONS before actually SNOWBOARDING. Thus, she fell into a ditch and basically broke her knee and Janna was her hero. For the rest of the day, Janna Liz Eden and I all sat in the lounge, none of us wanting to leave Eden there alone. It was actually really fun. We sat there bonding for hours and our table accumulated more drinks/food by the hour. I also yelled at Eden for not listening to me about taking the lessons and Liz got a picture of it which i uploaded underneath this entry. I went out one more time to earn Jesus points and tube with Sister Dawn, Janna, and Micah. Eventually, it was getting late and boys came in and changed right in front of us - which by the way was hilarious. Kaleb then thought it'd be cool to stand RIGHT in front of me and change. Ew. Then we left and I fell asleep on the bus on Janna, and now I'm sick from the cold because apparently 2 pairs of everything ISN'T ENOUGH to duel a mountain. Yay!

Missed Journals Assignment (week of december 14)

So the whole reason I missed the journals from the week of December 14^th was due to Janna’s father being in the hospital and dying on December 13^th. So I figure I should probably write about that. That week was a horrible time for a lot of people and it affected a lot of people, Janna’s family, friends, anyone that just genuinely cared. Janna spent a lot of time wondering why God would take her father away, why now. But when you sit back and think about it now that it’s really all over, it happened the best way it should have. At the memorial service, all I could hear was how he was such a great man and he walked with God his entire life, and how he wanted to be first for everything. I remember someone saying “of course he has to be the first to be with God, he had to be the first for everything” and everyone laughed. But it’s true. He knew he was going to die when he did and he was perfectly alright with it, he was so certain about being with God he just asked for the Lord to take him. Everything happened the way it should. When Janna was in the hospital and she wanted me to be there, it was killing me that I couldn’t be. But now that I think about it it’s obvious that if God wanted me to be there I would have been there, and I was. I was there in a sense that I did anything and everything she needed me to, I was there for her to open up to when she wouldn’t even do it with her own family. I was there at the memorial service to sit next to her and be there when she was crying. I was there and that was God’s plan for me. The reasons for all of this, I don’t know. I didn’t really know the man nor did I know the family however I knew what purpose I served and this could lead all the way back to me applying to NJUCA. I’m supposed to be here, I was supposed to become Janna’s friend I was lead to care about her to be there for her to rely on someone. I was put here for a reason and I think she may be one of those reasons. Her father’s death was a horrible thing for her family, but I don’t believe death was the end for him, just the beginning. Like I said he was an amazing person and I believe right now he’s in Heaven with God watching down on us all. I don’t think death is the end, I think it’s the beginning. There are two quotes I found about death that sort of back up what I’m saying, “Death may be the greatest of all human blessings.” ~Socrates, and “To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.” ~J.K. Rowling. Yes, I know she wrote the Harry Potter books, but I know that what she said is true. Death is just another adventure.

silence video

There were this silence video and I don't exactly remember the day we watched it, though I'm assuming it was last week. Something about this video really struck me. I mean, at first all I could think was, "OH NOT THIS GUY AGAIN" because it was the guy that compared the money we spent yearly in ice cream towards feeding the rest of the world, and I really don't like that guy. Though I don't like the guy in the movie we watched today either, I prefer the ice cream dude but ANYWAY. We watched this video that said that God speaks to you but with everything going on in our world it's much harder to hear him then it used to be. I mean, it makes sense. I personally have tried sitting in silence waiting for God to speak to me and I still hear something whether it's the TV downstairs or the fan from my laptop there's always SOMETHING. Sometimes I think people expect God to come in a blinding light or his face form in a cloud like in the lion king (POINT!) but even if that may perhaps be the case sometimes, God isn't going to show up like that. If you really listen, he will speak to you. And that really hit me. The movie, for a low budget film was really good! It was smart and well thought out. It actually made me change my mind from begging God for an answer to sit and silence and listen. Regardless of if I actually hear him yet, I know he'll speak to me eventually so now I sit and I wait.

****I JUST NOTICED ON THE PICTURE FROM MY MOST RECENT POST YOU HAVE TO CLICK IT AND OPEN IT IN ANOTHER WINDOW FOR IT TO MOVE.

Thursday (29th) NOVEMBER

On Thursday we took our verse quiz and you tried to teach us stuff and no one would listen because it was a shortened period.

HOWEVER, DO NOT FRET!
I HAVE A PICTURE THAT WILL MAKE UP FOR THIS LACK OF POST!